It’s not even midnight and fireworks has already started in my decked-up lane to usher in the new year. There’s something about this time, you know. Moments which make you want to look back on the year that was and wait for the new year to set in, with this tiny hope flickering in the heart that it’ll be a year that is even better than the last one. 2018 has been a year of many things happening in my life, which took turns to surprise, shock, gladden and sadden me, all at the same time.
On the professional front, 2018 has been an amazingly rewarding year. It started with the multi-cultural school exposure that took me out of my comfort zone called hostel and threw me into a place called Balasore, located in the far interiors of Odisha. Leaving aside the living arrangements (which were horrible, BTW), the time spent there gave me so many life-lessons. I made male friends, something which was absolutely unimaginable otherwise, especially from RIE (my institution). Given their rural background, we had almost nothing in common, except the fact that we came together at the right place, at the right time. I came to the life-owning realization that no matter how much I felt out of place during studying for B.Ed, I was in fact at the right place, when I caught a glimpse of my potential as a teacher during the multi-cultural school exposure. The compliments from the school heads and the teachers (“You’re like this energy-bomb, Eshita! You bring this surreal amount of energy in the class, which pays back.” ~ School Head, DAV Balasore. Also admittedly the toughest school head we came across) not only boosted my self-confidence, but instilled hope inside me that I could become a good teacher. The little adventure of coming across a small village and on invitation, actually going inside their homes and eating their home-made, special Odia food was the highlight of my school exposure, as it turned out the village was after-all the dacoit village! Phew! What a beautiful but narrow save!
The multi-cultural school exposure was soon followed by the second half of the year, which went by spending time in the school internship of our course. I had been placed with JNV Nadia, Kalyani and that too, as the group-leader of my group of five co-teachers which later saw addition of three more co-teachers, taking it to a tally of 8 group members, the highest amongst all the groups for the school internship. When the internship had started, I had been riddled with not only insecurities but further more with the pressure to succeed, while at the same time managing the group dynamics. However, to my surprise, the internship went so well, that I ended up not only extending my professional connections and enhancing my other skills like anchoring and sports amongst others, I also somehow managed to make a little space in the hearts of all the students of the school in many ways more than one. I could go on and on about the internship experience but really it would not suffice for this space to cover all the details. The fact that the school remembers us and our contribution to the school altogether was attested by the fact that the School Principal Sir, staying true to his promise, invited us to the school annual function and me personally, to the alumni meet of the school. It is a huge honor to all of us, and especially for me, as it just added on to the Letter of Recommendation that I had received from him just before I left the school.
On the personal front, I might take the liberty in saying that 2018 has been my year so far as personal growth is concerned. I overcame my insecurities regarding my career decisions and elevated my self-esteem to an extent that almost nothing negative could touch the shell that I created to secure my positive vibes. I learnt how to be patient with time and my faith in Karma got paid back too (well, sometimes!) I gained self-confidence in areas which I literally owned and more so, I have started taking little steps in accepting my body as it is. I inched closer towards closure in areas which once hurt and pained, but no longer anymore. I oversaw my brother’s wedding (phew! never thought would get to witness that!) and my school friend’s wedding, the first of our group to settle down (the very thought of settling down still gives me heebee-jeebies!). Interestingly, 2018 has also been a year of traveling (albeit to small places, but traveling nevertheless!). I traveled to Puri beach in the first half of the year, to start off my birthday month and had so much fun with my friends! The middle half of the year oversaw taking small trips to outskirts of the town, for finding time for enjoyment and leisure. The ending part of the year saw me going on a trip to a different city altogether inside Odisha, Cuttack, for attending the epic Baalijatra, just a day before I was to come back home. It was an experience I’d never forget and quite nicely ended my traveling streak of 2018.
Last but not the least, 2018 has also been the year where I decided to give a chance to my heart and to life once more, by saying yes to a person who has been there with me for the last two years despite rejection from Me. Even now, I’m quite decided that I don’t deserve the kind of love he does to me and doubt it’ll stay so long as to heal my broken heart completely. But then, somehow I’ve landed myself with a companion on whom I can bank upon, who I can call mine. And I guess, that says a lot. I’m not sure how much longer the cruise of my heart will stay moored to this ship of the shore, but let’s hope the journey is worth, after all. Also, am I getting ahead of myself if I say, the temptation of being single once again haunts me every night? *wink wink* (Hah! I got you there, Mister!!)
Expectations regarding 2019? Nothing really. One thing I have learnt from 2018 is to not expect anything because it never does turn out like that after all, does it? So despite the frightening realization that 2019 is going to be a very crucial year for me, so far as my career is concerned, however with fingers crossed, I can just hope against hope. That’s all I can do.
So here’s to a year of growth, inertia, success, failures, happiness and sadness, all in pairs. Let’s go get and make a year worth living in and so much more. Let us all be the person whom we aspire to be. Let us be The One who can look in the mirror and be proud of the person we are becoming. Let’s make a year which is Ours.
Let’s own 2019. May The Force Be Ourselves. Let’s have a great New Year, everyone.