I still vividly remember the day I met him for the first time. We four (I, Deep, Suparna di, Nabendu da) were part of a social media group, meeting for the first time in real life, somewhere around in June. I And Deep were of the same age group, while Suparna aka Mumpy di and Nabendu aka Nabu da, both were seniors to us. Nabu da was the eldest among us. I already knew Deep from a previous meetup, so by then, had already become a friend. However, I hadn’t met the other two people in real life. Knew them, sure, but hadn’t met them. So literally all of us were strangers, meeting for the first time, to acquaint ourselves even more. Three of us, I, Deep and Mumpy di had already arrived, waiting for Nabu da, who was an office-goer and hence running a bit late. Never mind. We three got along with our chats, getting to know each other. Few minutes passed and then He arrived. To my surprise, my breath had got caught in my throat. At that moment, it had made me frown, but looking back at it now, I guess, that was perhaps some kind of a signal from somewhere above that he’d become a person much more than a mere friend to me. Someone very precious to my Life.
The reason why my breath had caught should not and cannot be attributed to his handsome looks, which would be the first plausible reason justifying my reaction, that’d come in any person’s mind. He was handsome, sure, but not drop-dead handsome as such to extract such a reaction from Me. Unable to placate my absurd reaction towards him, I went on acting normal and chatted with all of ’em. By the end of the day, the meetup was successful and both Deep and I were Nabu da’s fans. Literally.
Now how’d that happen and that too so fast? He was a dynamic personality, which could bowl over any sane person. Deep went to the extent, saying, given a chance he’d change his gender, just to become his girlfriend, drawing our bellowing laughs and much to Nabu da’s amusement! (or embarrassment, take your pick!) But I’d been silent. Not because I was trying to be nonchalant, which I actually wasn’t being, but because I knew more than what we had seen, there was more, much more to Him. And I was hungry to unravel that. To get to know him up and personal.
How and when exactly had we hit off, I don’t remember and don’t find it necessary to as well. All that matters is, we had got going. It was pretty late, around August or September maybe. I was the organiser of the second meetup and probably in this way, I’d started talking. We started off like normal friends, a bit of a chat here and there. Then I used to tease him with Mumpy di, to which thankfully, till now, both don’t pull my ears for! Somewhere along, I got close to him. Sometime later, some more closer. By that time, I’d started knowing him the person he is. I started looking forward to the end of the day, when we’d be able to talk, just about anything. He slowly turned into a person I looked up to. He turned into a person I somehow felt compelled to share everything. He turned indispensable to Me.
Along this whole journey, he probably took me for a kid, who was besotted to him and to his so-called dynamic personality, which he claimed, existed only in our minds. But when I saw a gem, I recognised it and its value. I have two sisters as siblings in my family. I’m the youngest one. Despite having them, I ached for that one brother to whom I could look up-to. One who’d pamper Me, look out for me and do all those stuffs that a brother does for her sister. I used to look enviously at all those friends of mine who had brothers and sigh, wishing if only I had one brother and then my life would be just complete. I wouldn’t say I haven’t met people who weren’t or couldn’t be called equivalent to being my brother. But making me call and accept them as one, was tough. Simply because I believed not just anyone could become my brother. If and when I do find one, He would be special and the one whom I wouldn’t be able to leave easily.
They say that when you follow your heart, you can create magic. After all, the heart is the place where all your passion comes from. I followed my heart and trusted its decision to accept him as my brother and see where it led to. He wasn’t at all a typical brother or the one I used to dream of. Probably that’s why I got attracted to him. I believed, if it managed to stay afloat, He shall be a keeper and if it doesn’t, well, it was never meant to transpire then. By then, I had already conjoined my Life with him. I shared everything and anything with him. There wasn’t a laugh or a tear he didn’t have a knowledge of. From telling him every single thing happening in my life to ranting to pestering him with endless questions to listing his favourite songs to even the qualities he wants in his partner (quite to his amusement!), there is probably very few things that I haven’t shared with him. There were many bumps along the journey, some pretty serious ones. But it was just a matter of time, before we’d be back together. Because we were meant to be.
All this time, I respected him, adored him, looked up to him. But perhaps didn’t love him, so as to say. One fine evening when I’d hadn’t been on talking terms with him, yet went along to meet him, I had expected my poker face to carry me through. I sure as hell didn’t expect to making use of every ounce of my will to not break down, when he gave me the hug, without probably having an idea what was going inside Me. This was an emotion alien to me, till then, and that’s when I knew, I loved him. That I had found my brother. A brother God had refused me.
After acknowledging him my feelings for him and after all these months, I’d say, I’m blessed when I found him acknowledging the same feelings for Me. The day he had, I had wept. Because now, I had something precious, to lose in Life. Which I almost did many a times like very recently as well, yet regained back. But the lessons I learnt from loving him are life lessons.
I had the epiphany that when you truly love a person, you have no fear of losing him. You just need to have faith in your love and believe nothing would go wrong. And it is from this, you draw strength. At least, I did. Love has many forms. Brotherly love occupies the highest rung for Me. And I now know, if ever I am to have a partner, it has to be a person I love like him. But for now, I love you, my brother. You are and shall remain The One for Me.
This one’s for you, Nabu da. My way of letting the world know you’re my brother, going the dramatic way. No fear of any jinx happening, as I believe in Us.