As I sip on the black coffee, rocking back on my heels, on the swing I’m on, in my mind, I’m suddenly blinded by this epiphany that this is the last black coffee of the year 2015 that I’m sipping on. And then I chide myself, muttering what’s the big deal, for I’ll be back here once again, tomorrow & hence that’s nothing to even think about, in the very first place. But the mind, as always, runs riot & goes back to the first day of the year 2015, which is breathing its last, to last just one-two hours more, before it slips away to oblivion. And I’m sharing my #TalesOf2015 with BlogAdda as well.
The year had started on special note, no doubt. I have had the first post-midnight New Year call, from none other than my best friend & of course, I was elated beyond anything. Something to look back upon with nostalgia, now that he’s settled back in his life and well, let’s just say, it’d be a real surprise now if I even occur to his mind to be one of the people to be call. Not that I’m sad, because I’m real happy for him. The boy needed this and he got it. Period. Moreover, he and his friends had made my birthday damn special as well (of course, not to forget the fact that it was AFTER I had made his birthday special). Ah, such days. Excellent fodder for nostalgia.
Speaking of my birthday, I got the biggest gift of my life, when this person I was destined to be sister of, reciprocated my sisterly feelings & accepted to be my brother. ‘Twas the biggest gift of my life, considering I’ve always ached for a brother, since god-knows-when, in the lack of having a brother with blood relations. I can’t even express how I marvel at times, how the heck did I even land up being his sister & still have to pinch myself, only to be reminded of the day when it had actually happened (officially, that is), after I tied the rakhi. He is the person with whom I’ve shared my heart & soul with, who knows my deepest fears, my weaknesses & yet I don’t feel vulnerable or feel cowed by the very fact. The person who has shown me a whole different world, has changed me in & out (for better), has damn well made me cry at times as well, something I rarely do, even on my birthday! I can be at my childish best with him & be the world-wise that I am, simultaneously. He can make me happy & sad, like the flick of his fingers, which should make me mortified, right? But I ain’t! Because long long time ago, I’ve dreamt of these days, the days when I shall be loved in this own frugal way of my brother and I will love my brother in my own soul-stirring way. And I gotta stop here, considering I can write pages on him and yet not be done with him. So here’s to you, Mr. Refused-To-Be-Named. I love you & I’ll continue loving you, till the end of my life. You’re the best thing to happen to me and I’ll look back on all the moments I spent with you when you move away from here.
Speaking of brothers, there’s another little thing that happen to me & quite unexpectedly at that. What started off as a mere concern on part of me for this little brother (not physically… Oops!), turned into a full-fledged one, when he trumped me one fine day, on asking me to be his big sister. And since then, I’ve been exploiting him, yes literally. From hijacking his phone now & often to expecting him to meet my every demands, to having long talks to doing damn well everything a little brother & a big sister does, our relationship has become strong & I hope it forever remains this strong. (I should feel irritated by the fact my family finds him more adorable than me, but then he is actually cute, so!)
As a matter of fact, two other people also need to be mentioned, in this gratitude list of mine. See the lovely woman in the picture below? She’s the one, who had left me crying (I almost did, trust me), while she got shifted to another city due to work. And they say it right, that distance makes you realise how much you love a person & love her I do, head-over-heels, since when I don’t even remember. All I know is, she is rightly called as my ‘didibhai’, a term close to my heart & not even accorded to my blood sisters. Today, I confess, dear lady, if I wouldn’t have been a babe, I’d have married you in a heartbeat, for I love you that much. Stay always this lovely.
And to the person who shares the frame, thank you for all this. You started it all, some 2 years ago, and it all sort of kicked off, because of you. I owe to you for all of this, for the social life of mine & way more.
Speaking of the major events, 2015 has been a good year for me, as far as hobbies are concerned. Reading story books, crafts-making, photography… Which reminds me, of the next best thing that happened to me this year. This little, close-knit photographers’ group that I made this year. Taking pride of the fact that I’m the only girl of the 7 member squad, they have seen my weirdo-best. They have been through my moods (even going to the extent of threatening to add me minute to minute, in case of an event I happen to leave the group. Which, in fact, is proven. Also, frustrating given that everyone in the group has been made an admin, except Me. Which also makes it cute, but I of course, don’t admit for obvious reasons). In short, they have made me live again, keeping me comfortable to being my honest-and-blunt self, to belonging true to the boyish character that I am of & they supporting me in whatever I am. I can’t thank you all enough. I cannot love you all enough. I cannot tell you all enough how much of a solace you all have been, especially in the bleakness I lead my life in. Thank you. Thank you. And even more thank you.
Academically, well I’m into Masters now & I guess, it’s my call to seriously study now, something I haven’t done ever. But then, it’s not my fault that the story books tempt me like that seductive mistress, unlike academic books which is like this boring, tedious, cranky wife. Sigh! Achievements… Well many. I cracked my first job interviews, gave up on a lucrative job offer in exchange of higher education and almost made it to being an Airforce Officer, till the time destiny thought I should take a break & my dreams as of now remain unfulfilled.
Now the resolutions part. Well, I got a surprise in there & I swear, I myself am surprised as well, for there’s been no year that I haven’t got a single resolution. Yes, you read that right. I got no resolutions this coming year, because I intend to live it. Just be the way I am & crank it up further by doing everything it takes, to make me gasp out of lack of breath & till my muscles scream for a break. I’ll continue falling in love, getting heart-broken & then love some more. Because this world could do with some loving & I especially got no complaints with getting heart-broken, given that, they give me my precious poems. Sounds shrewd? Can’t help! In fact, 2015 has been real kind to me, as far as writing poems are concerned. I’ll continue being everything I am and be some more. I’m sure I’m rambling, but then, that’s because I’m content with myself. Happy with the one I see in the mirror. Content and happy, but not satisfied enough to lay back. Nope, not happening that.
As an ending note, just a few days ago, my phone got a cerebral attack & gave me a coronary, when I found all my writings, chat histories, wiped off, after doing the factory reset which I was forced to. I’m proud that I’ve been holding my composure quite well, as if my life hadn’t just been washed & grinded & hung over. Why? Because I took it up as a positive note. To ring in the new year on a clean slate. To have nothing left behind me. To have nothing to cage me in.
Happy New Year, everyone. Let’s live our life, once more.